it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
