my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize