Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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