I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
