Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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