i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
