You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
