quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
