In the future we'll all be gay
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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