I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
