So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
