But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
