i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
