Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
