why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
