I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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