I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Oh god it's open bar.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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