Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
