Porn is love you can see.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize