Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
did i just pee glitter
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize