Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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