do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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