TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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