If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
