I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
