Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
