I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
