Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
