Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize