Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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