I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
