2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
