I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
