I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
