there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
