Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
