I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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