so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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