no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dear god my vagina.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
