I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
