it wasn't lemon gatorade
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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