I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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