I can tuck mytits in my pants
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
