I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
