She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
