just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
