I accidentally had phone sex last night
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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