he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
