She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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