why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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