It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
