Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
