You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
even my farts smell like vagina
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
