how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
