She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Randomize