"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
