what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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