the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize