i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just gift wrapped bread.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
