i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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