what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So many bounce houses so little time
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
