oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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