I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize