So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
